depression
Sara Stanizai
From Survival to Softness: Lessons from The ...

by Brianna Patti.

“It can be easier to believe resting is simply about retiring to your bed when you are tired instead of beginning the messy process of deconstructing your own beliefs and behaviors that are aligned with white supremacy and capitalism. You must be committed to studying how training under the abusive teachings of dominant culture has you bound and limited. This is healing work. This is justice work. When we are aligned against the ideas of the oppressive culture, we understand we didn’t arrive on Earth to be a tool for a capitalist system.”

― Tricia Hersey, Rest Is Resistance: A Manifesto

Like many therapists, I have a very long list of books that I try to keep up with. This job benefits from constant learning, and I get really excited when a client mentions something that’s directly related to what I’ve read recently. If you’re under the capitalistic spell of hustle culture, body shame, and/or a sense of disappointment about the aesthetics of the clutter in your home, stick with me on this one. 

From Survival to Softness: Lessons from The Body Is Not an Apology, Rest Is Resistance, and How to Keep House While Drowning
Sara Stanizai
Understanding Grief: Beyond the Five Stages

by Sara Stanizai, LMFT

There’s a common, half-joking sentiment that therapists and their clients think “everything is trauma.” I tend to think that everything is grief.

What if power imbalances, trauma, depression, relationship struggles, differentiating from your family, self-esteem, or anything else that brings you therapy was actually related to grief? If you boil down a lot of our pain, it often contains some part of the grieving process. We struggle to adjust to changes and loss in one form or another. And yet, grief is often treated as a mysterious syndrome that we try to avoid but know we can’t.

This isn’t to downplay the extremely painful loss of a loved one. But on a much, much smaller scale, we are often experiencing a version of grief every time we lose something.

Understanding Grief: Beyond the Five Stages
Sara Stanizai
Life is Hard, Be Kind: Acceptance & ...

by Tiffany Hooton, LMFT

It seems that every day the ongoing trainwreck that is the current sociopolitical landscape brings me one uneasy step closer to embracing Doomerism - which, if you’ve been lucky to avoid the word, refers to an excessively pessimistic and fatalistic worldview. This may seem a somewhat problematic position for someone working in the mental health field, who is, ostensibly, tasked with assisting others to climb out of their own despair, anxiety, and doubt, but it nonetheless brings into sharp focus the various moral, ethical, and existential dilemmas many of us are grappling with on daily basis:

How do we continue living in an environment that appears to be fundamentally hostile to life? How do we reconcile a belief in human rights and dignity with the reality that a portion of everything you earn funds the very bombs used to destroy the lives of innocent people abroad? How do we protect the communities we care about when we ourselves are powerless? How do we behave morally while engaging in an immoral system?

And, while I certainly don’t know the answer to those questions, I do know that these are moments which challenge us - to reflect, to listen, to act. For people who find themselves frustrated with injustice, mired in feelings of powerlessness, and fearful of the future, this can mean slowing down, learning to regulate their emotions, and getting connected with their values. Below, I’ll share a few tools to do just that:

Life is Hard, Be Kind: Acceptance & Commitment Therapy for When You Don't Know What to Do.
trans affirming therapy
Sara Stanizai
Banned Words, Trans Lives, and the Stakes of ...

by Andrew Kravig

 

Every single day, we hear folks talking about how these are “unprecedented times.” Which is true, of course. These times do feel overly “unprecedented.”  But what does that mean? What does it actually mean, as a lived experience, to chart an existence in a world where there is not an instruction manual or reliable guideposts to help you navigate?

Banned Words, Trans Lives, and the Stakes of Being “Illegal”
couples therapy
Sara Stanizai
Navigating Inter-cultural Relationships: You ...

by Sara Stanizai, LMFT

All relationships are inter-cultural. 

We all carry our own personal, familial, cultural, national, spiritual, and other contexts with us as we try to connect with each other. 

Some of these differences are more recognizable than others. While these relationships are often rich in love and learning, they can also present unique challenges that require open communication, empathy, and a keen understanding of power dynamics. 

As a licensed marriage and family therapist and a student of Relational Life Therapy, I often draw upon the principles of RLT to help couples navigate these complexities. 

Navigating Inter-cultural Relationships: You Are More Than a Partner

From Survival to Softness: Lessons from The Body Is Not an Apology, Rest Is Resistance, and How to Keep House While Drowning

From Survival to Softness: Lessons from The Body Is Not an Apology, Rest Is Resistance, and How to Keep House While Drowning

by Brianna Patti.

“It can be easier to believe resting is simply about retiring to your bed when you are tired instead of beginning the messy process of deconstructing your own beliefs and behaviors that are aligned with white supremacy and capitalism. You must be committed to studying how training under the abusive teachings of dominant culture has you bound and limited. This is healing work. This is justice work. When we are aligned against the ideas of the oppressive culture, we understand we didn’t arrive on Earth to be a tool for a capitalist system.”

― Tricia Hersey, Rest Is Resistance: A Manifesto

Like many therapists, I have a very long list of books that I try to keep up with. This job benefits from constant learning, and I get really excited when a client mentions something that’s directly related to what I’ve read recently. If you’re under the capitalistic spell of hustle culture, body shame, and/or a sense of disappointment about the aesthetics of the clutter in your home, stick with me on this one. 

Understanding Grief: Beyond the Five Stages

Understanding Grief: Beyond the Five Stages

by Sara Stanizai, LMFT

There’s a common, half-joking sentiment that therapists and their clients think “everything is trauma.” I tend to think that everything is grief.

What if power imbalances, trauma, depression, relationship struggles, differentiating from your family, self-esteem, or anything else that brings you therapy was actually related to grief? If you boil down a lot of our pain, it often contains some part of the grieving process. We struggle to adjust to changes and loss in one form or another. And yet, grief is often treated as a mysterious syndrome that we try to avoid but know we can’t.

This isn’t to downplay the extremely painful loss of a loved one. But on a much, much smaller scale, we are often experiencing a version of grief every time we lose something.

Life is Hard, Be Kind: Acceptance & Commitment Therapy for When You Don't Know What to Do.

Life is Hard, Be Kind: Acceptance & Commitment Therapy for When You Don't Know What to Do.

by Tiffany Hooton, LMFT

It seems that every day the ongoing trainwreck that is the current sociopolitical landscape brings me one uneasy step closer to embracing Doomerism - which, if you’ve been lucky to avoid the word, refers to an excessively pessimistic and fatalistic worldview. This may seem a somewhat problematic position for someone working in the mental health field, who is, ostensibly, tasked with assisting others to climb out of their own despair, anxiety, and doubt, but it nonetheless brings into sharp focus the various moral, ethical, and existential dilemmas many of us are grappling with on daily basis:

How do we continue living in an environment that appears to be fundamentally hostile to life? How do we reconcile a belief in human rights and dignity with the reality that a portion of everything you earn funds the very bombs used to destroy the lives of innocent people abroad? How do we protect the communities we care about when we ourselves are powerless? How do we behave morally while engaging in an immoral system?

And, while I certainly don’t know the answer to those questions, I do know that these are moments which challenge us - to reflect, to listen, to act. For people who find themselves frustrated with injustice, mired in feelings of powerlessness, and fearful of the future, this can mean slowing down, learning to regulate their emotions, and getting connected with their values. Below, I’ll share a few tools to do just that:

Banned Words, Trans Lives, and the Stakes of Being “Illegal”

Banned Words, Trans Lives, and the Stakes of Being “Illegal”

by Andrew Kravig

 

Every single day, we hear folks talking about how these are “unprecedented times.” Which is true, of course. These times do feel overly “unprecedented.”  But what does that mean? What does it actually mean, as a lived experience, to chart an existence in a world where there is not an instruction manual or reliable guideposts to help you navigate?

Navigating Inter-cultural Relationships: You Are More Than a Partner

Navigating Inter-cultural Relationships: You Are More Than a Partner

by Sara Stanizai, LMFT

All relationships are inter-cultural. 

We all carry our own personal, familial, cultural, national, spiritual, and other contexts with us as we try to connect with each other. 

Some of these differences are more recognizable than others. While these relationships are often rich in love and learning, they can also present unique challenges that require open communication, empathy, and a keen understanding of power dynamics. 

As a licensed marriage and family therapist and a student of Relational Life Therapy, I often draw upon the principles of RLT to help couples navigate these complexities. 

Burnout and Depression: How to Manage When the World Is Chaos

Burnout and Depression: How to Manage When the World Is Chaos

by Andrew Kravig, AMFT

 

The world can feel like a hellscape right now. That might be putting it mildly. This year (is it only March??) has left many of us feeling overwhelmed, helpless, and exhausted. Everywhere you look there is chaos: the ongoing challenges of climate change, political instability, social injustices, threats of authoritarianism around the globe, handling the constant barrage of news alerts about the next big crisis. Oof. It’s easy to feel as though the world is spiraling out of control. And when combined with the weight of our everyday, personal struggles, we can often find ourselves depleted, utterly drained, both mentally and emotionally. This feeling is something we call often burnout, and especially when paired with depression, it can easily crush our ability to function and stay regulated.

But there are some ways to navigate through these difficult times, rebalance yourself, and perhaps reclaim some energy, so that you can foster your well-being. “Thriving instead of striving” is how my eighth grade Health Class teacher used to put it. (Looking back, she might have known a few things. I should have paid more attention.)

Navigating Self-Care in Tumultuous Times: A Guide for LGBTQ+ Individuals

Navigating Self-Care in Tumultuous Times: A Guide for LGBTQ+ Individuals

To All My Queers  <3

 by Andrew Kravig, AMFT

I don’t know about you, but right now the world around me can feel overwhelming. This day and age can feel impossible as LGBTQ+ individuals, facing societal challenges and discrimination, on top of our daily personal struggles. In such tumultuous times, self-care becomes more than just a luxury; it becomes a vital tool for maintaining emotional, mental, and physical health. But how can LGBTQ+ people prioritize their well-being in a world that sometimes feels hostile? Here are some practical and empowering ways to navigate self-care while honoring your unique identity.

How To Know A Green Flag In Therapy When You See It

How To Know A Green Flag In Therapy When You See It

by Brianna Patti, AMFT

Starting therapy can feel a bit intimidating. With all the different types of therapy and advice floating around, it’s normal to feel confused about what you’re walking into. You might wonder, "What exactly is therapy? Why do some people need it? And how do I know if it’s actually helping me?" These are great questions with nuanced answers. Let’s dive into what therapy is, what it isn’t, and how to tell if it's working for you.

Living with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder

Living with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder

Living with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder OCD can feel like a small, personal hell. Even folks without an OCD diagnosis can find themselves caught in obsessive or compulsive cycles that feel maddening to escape. No matter the severity of your struggle with obsessions or compulsions, learning how to navigate and manage them can be life-changing.  

Here are some tips for managing OCD, from a therapist who has been there. 

What to do When Low Moods Last Longer Than Normal

What to do When Low Moods Last Longer Than Normal

It seems like a lot of people are using the internet to diagnose themselves. And it’s a great resource - people should have access to information that is relevant to their health. One of the problems with this deluge of information, however, is that it doesn’t take everyone’s personal experience into account. And before you know it, you could have a list of diagnoses that can do more harm than good.

So how can you tell the difference between regular low moods, and chronic depression?

Experiencing low moods is a natural part of life, but when these feelings persist longer than usual, it can impact various aspects of your life. Understanding how depression and prolonged low moods affect you is essential for managing your mental health. How do these feelings influence personal care, friendships, relationships, work life, and overall happiness. What can you do about it to help yourself, and when will seeing a therapist be helpful?

Five Ways to Unhook from Anxious Thoughts

Five Ways to Unhook from Anxious Thoughts

Has this ever happened to you? You’re sitting at home deliberating over whether to put on your shoes and see some friends for a night out. Maybe you should just cancel. All it would take is a text, “Sorry, can’t make it. Have a headache. :(” The temptation to climb in bed and hide under the covers grows enormous. All you can think about is that weird thing you said last week in front of a new acquaintance. Or that mistake you made at work. Or the big project that’s due next week. You’re definitely going to blow it. Your friends probably don’t really care about seeing you anyway.

But there’s another part of you, too. The part of you that loves your friends. That knows self- isolating will only make things worse. So why do we do this to ourselves? Why do we choose to opt out of things when that’s not really what we want? And, more importantly, what can we do about it when our anxious thoughts commandeer our behaviors, steering us away from what truly matters?

This is where cognitive defusion, a cornerstone of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), comes in. Cognitive defusion helps us “unhook” from anxious thoughts by creating space between us and the mental chatter. Instead of fighting or believing every thought, we learn to observe them with curiosity and let them come and go without being controlled by them.

Are Family Roles for Life?

Are Family Roles for Life?

By Sara Stanizai.

In my previous post, we explored how childhood dynamics shape our adult relationships, identifying common roles such as the Hero Child, Scapegoat Child, and Lost Child. Understanding these roles is the first step toward healing our relationships, but the real work lies in transforming these ingrained patterns into healthier relational dynamics.

Maybe you resonated with one or more of these roles. But now what?

What do you do when you feel stuck in these relationship patterns from your family?

According to Relational Life Therapy, understanding and using the basic concepts of the Adaptive Child, Wounded Child, and Wise Adult can help guide your journey toward healthier relationships.

Heroes, Scapegoats, and Lost Ones: How Childhood Dynamics Shape Adult Relationships

Heroes, Scapegoats, and Lost Ones: How Childhood Dynamics Shape Adult Relationships

By Sara Stanizai

It might be a therapy cliche, but our family roles profoundly shape who we become as adults.

I’ve been thinking a lot about this (and sharing with my clients) especially recently. I’m making my way through a certification and training with my therapy hero, Terry Real, an LCSW and the founder of Relational Life Therapy (RLT).

In our trainings, he sheds light on the specific roles children often adopt within their families of origin. These roles—such as the Hero Child, the Scapegoat Child, and the Lost version of each of these—can have lasting effects on our behaviors and relationships as we navigate adulthood.

This especially resonates as I run the Eldest Daughters group and do more research on the impact of birth order on our mental health. It’s never as cut and dry as eldest/middle/youngest/only.

Understanding these roles can help us identify patterns in our romantic relationships, friendships, and professional lives, providing a pathway to healing and personal growth that we may not find in traditional therapies.

Which one are you?

No Contact: Navigating the Decision to Cut Ties

No Contact: Navigating the Decision to Cut Ties

Like many pop psychology terms, people really throw around the idea of “going no contact.” It can be tempting to cutting ties with someone in your most heated moment — and it’s true, it can ultimately be beneficial to move on with your life.

But if you value community care, and wanting to do right by the people in your life, it can be confusing to figure out when and if it’s the right decision, and how to ethically do it.

What does going no contact actually mean and how can it help or harm you? How do you know if it’s the right decision for you? Have you truly done all you can - and should you?

What is Trauma-Informed Therapy?

What is Trauma-Informed Therapy?

The phrase “trauma-informed” is being thrown around all over the internet, but what does it actually mean?

Being trauma-informed goes beyond simply acknowledging the existence of trauma and its effects on mental health. Trauma-informed therapy is an actual approach to care that revolves around specific core principles. What a skilled therapist does with those principles, and how they implement them in the therapy room, will vary.

How we generate trust, safety, choice, collaboration and empowerment for our clients depends on what you have experienced in the past and what you might need now. (It’s those. Those are the principles.) This involves a deliberate and thoughtful approach to therapy that influences every choice we make as a therapist, both in session and when setting up our practice.

If you’re seeking therapy or if you’re a therapist yourself, it’s crucial to understand this concept so that you know how therapy works — and if it’s working for you.

"Therapy never worked for me": CBT isn't enough for neurodivergent clients seeking long-term healing

"Therapy never worked for me": CBT isn't enough for neurodivergent clients seeking long-term healing

Most of my clients have been to therapy before. Many have tried therapy several times over their life, but they never felt it was that helpful or they found it difficult to find a therapist who was a good fit. There are plenty of reasons why this might be the case, and this post aims to explore one of the main offenders: a very common type of therapy practiced is CBT, and using CBT alone may not be a great choice for neurodivergent brains. 

Therapy Tools for Processing Childhood Trauma

Therapy Tools for Processing Childhood Trauma

No matter how hard parents work to offer the “perfect” childhood, traumatic events are all-too-skilled at finding their way into our life experience, like speed bumps in our path. And maybe they aren’t just bumps… maybe they feel like giant, icy mountains that we will never be able to scale or summit.

Trauma from our childhood can linger and have damaging effects on our adult lives, whether that effect is great or small. Addressing and healing from that trauma is often an essential step towards living a full, functional life as an adult.

,

Finding Hope and Healing with Couples Therapy and The Gottman Method

,
Finding Hope and Healing with Couples Therapy and The Gottman Method

When love starts to fade, communication breaks down, and trust feels damaged beyond repair, it's easy to lose hope. In the midst of conflict and pain, it can feel as though the bond you once shared has been irreparably broken. But there is a way through the darkness. It's a path that requires courage, patience, and a willingness to change. Couples therapy, especially the research-backed Gottman Method, provides the tools and support you need to rebuild a strong, healthy partnership. It offers a lifeline in the storm, a beacon of hope that your relationship can not only survive but thrive once again. By focusing on strengthening the four pillars of a successful relationship – friendship, shared meaning, conflict management, and emotional connection – the Gottman Method offers a roadmap to healing and recovery. It equips couples with the skills and insights to break destructive patterns, rebuild trust, and create a partnership based on respect, understanding, and mutual support.

Benefits of Choosing a Neurodivergent Therapist

Benefits of Choosing a Neurodivergent Therapist

When it comes to your mental health, the importance of finding the right therapist cannot be overstated. Finding someone who gets your life and empathizes with your goals can be tricky if your life doesn’t look mainstream, which is the case for most of our neurodivergent clients. Plus, you deserve excellent clinical care! A shortcut to finding a therapist that is a great fit is looking for neurodivergent affirming therapists, who are often therapists who are neurodivergent themselves. Neurodivergent therapists bring a unique perspective to the therapeutic relationship, offering a myriad of benefits for both neurodivergent and neurotypical clients.

Embracing Self-Discovery in Neurodiversity

Embracing Self-Discovery in Neurodiversity

Getting to know yourself and learning how your brain works can be a tricky journey, especially when it comes to neurodivergent experiences like ADHD. There is so much information online, but it’s hard to tell what’s a trustworthy source, and some sources seem to directly contradict others, making it quickly overwhelming. If you find yourself wondering, "How do I know if I have ADHD? Do I need to see a professional or can I diagnose myself?" this post is for you, written from a neurodiversity-affirming perspective.

Convenient to Long Beach and Seal Beach at:

4510 E Pacific Coast Hwy, #540, Long Beach, CA 90804

contact@prospecttherapy.com | (562) 704-4736