Do We Need Marriage Counseling?

Your friends and family consider you a power couple. They admire your relationship because you're successful, social, and completely in love.

What they don't see is how you and your partner seem to be drifting apart. And when you do spend time together, little disagreements turn into huge fights.

“My Partner and I feel like roommateS.”

“We agree on most things, but somewhere along the way, we’ve grown apart."

“I’m not sure if we’re on the same page anymore. I’m afraid we’ll break up if we don’t do something about this now.”

“Our fights seem to come out of nowhere. When we’re good, we’re really good. But when things are bad, we don’t even recognize each other.”

How do you balance meeting each others' needs and your own expectations? What if you could reconnect to each other instead of focusing on all the other things filling up your life? 

Most often, we see couples who want to work at their relationship, but get frustrated that their ideas keep backfiring.

What is the success rate of marriage counseling?

Different studies say the success rate is 50% - 75%. We would ask a different question: What does my client consider a success?

The best couples therapy will help all partners get clarity on what they truly need and learn to meet those needs. It may mean reigniting your relationship. It may mean learning to grieve a version of your relationship, and maybe to separate after all.

Communication problems in Our relationship

The second-most common reason people seek therapy with us is: “Communication problems.”

One of you wants to solve the problem right away, so it doesn’t happen again. Who can wait hours or days for their partner to “be ready to talk”?

One of you withdraws or shuts down, and says something like “I can’t talk to you when you’re like this.” Who can think clearly when their partner is peppering them with questions and has already made up their mind?

One person is feeling disappointed, and the other feels like they get no credit for trying.

You accuse each other of controlling the relationship.

You're resentful that you overlooked those early "red flags.”

You're still hurt from an old disagreement.

You're not sure if you can make it work - or if you even want to.

Can you Go to Relationship Counseling on Your OWn?

You might already see patterns in your love life, and start to wonder: Am I the problem? Whether you are in a relationship currently or not, you may benefit from therapy on your own that will absolutely help your current or future relationships.

We offer relationship counseling for people at any stage of their relationship, in addition to marriage counseling and pre-marital counseling.

Couples therapy isn't about changing yourself or your partner. You’re going to have disagreements. It’s what you do before, during, and after those conflicts that determines your success as a couple.

Couples therapy can be a great way to work through your communication and behavior patterns with a neutral person in the room. It's not about "who's right and who's wrong," but about truly understanding yourself and each other, so that you don't continue to repeat the same disagreements. 

LGBTQ+ Couples Therapy

Prospect Therapy is an affirming practice that welcomes all types of relationship structures with people of all genders and sexualities, including lesbian, gay, bisexual, pansexual, transgender, and nonbinary folks. We are queer therapists with lived experience in the queer and trans communities. We recognize the impact that internalized homo/bi/transphobia and heterosexism can have on queer relationships. We don't over-emphasize or ignore your sexual orientation or gender identity.

Polyamory, Open Relationships, and Consensual Non-Monogamy

The most common reason people give when seeking couples therapy with us is Jealousy in Open Relationships.

We approach all couples and relationships from a sex-positive, kink-affirmative stance and welcome consensually-non-monogamous (CNM) relationships into therapy.

Whether you are considering exploring these types of relationships or have long-established partnerships, (or are somewhere in the middle), we don't take a stigmatizing or pathologizing stance. That is, we don't think it's "because of your trauma," or that you "have commitment issues," or try to encourage monogamous marriage as the ideal end goal for 100% of relationships.

If one of you is exploring non-monogamy, you might feel uncomfortable or guilty bringing this up to your partner. If you are considering opening your relationship, you might want some guidance on setting ground rules. Maybe you haven't decided if CNM is right for you. Relationship therapy can be a great place to explore the needs that aren't being met, and open up lines of communication between you.

Gottman Method Couples Therapy

Couples therapy is not just doing individual therapy in front of your partner. Our client is your relationship - not each of the partners. One of the requirements for our therapists to see couples is to make sure that they receive significant training in providing couples therapy. That means not all of our therapists will see couples. But you can feel confident that just like the rest of our specializations, the therapist you work with is specifically skilled in relationship therapy.

A partner can do much more to heal the problem than your therapist ever could; even if the problem started before you ever met them.

Our clients learn that their own personal anxieties and traumas improve as their relationship quality improves.

We use a research-based method of couples therapy developed by The Gottman Institute that is structured, but flexible.

We start with a comprehensive evaluation of your strengths and areas of growth as a couple. We build on what is going well in your relationship (even if you feel like that’s not a lot of things). We also identify where there is a mismatch and focus on those. This ultimately means the therapy doesn’t take as long, since we’re focusing our attention only on what needs work.

Intimate Partner Violence/Domestic Violence

If the problems in your relationship are beyond typical communication or trust issues, or you are starting to feel unsafe in your relationship, read more about options for couples experiencing IPV/DV by clicking here.

Queer and Trans Couples Therapy in Long Beach and California

Prospect Therapy is a queer + trans affirming therapy practice based in Long Beach, CA, with a focus on mental health for first-generation, immigrant, and bicultural communities. We continue to provide online therapy for a variety of mental wellness and relationship concerns to clients throughout the state of California. Learn more about how we bring lived experience to our work with people of all ages in our communities by requesting a consultation below.