There is no wrong way to do your life. I promise.
I’m J. Andrew Kravig, an associate marriage and family therapist. I see people virtually throughout California. When you meet me, you’ll notice I’m an intellectual who takes your therapy seriously, but is ready to laugh with you at the drop of a hat. Think: college professor with a sport coat and a pipe, but the pipe has bubbles in it.
You can read more about me and my work if you scroll below, but first, let’s talk about where you might fit in:
These are my most frequently treated issues:
Couples, especially those with mixed neurotypes. I help couples where one or more partners are neurodivergent understand the underlying causes of their “communication issues.” This isn’t to excuse shitty behavior, it’s to help it affect your relationship less and help everyone feel understood.
My work with couples focuses on conflict resolution, attachment styles, and an understanding of complex trauma. I bring an understanding a variety of relationship structures, including polyam and non-monogamy. This may not be what brings you to therapy, but at least your partnership won’t be pathologized.
Religious trauma. People renegotiating their relationship with religion, or those raised in fundamentalist communities. You don’t have to turn your back on religion, but you have every right to decide for yourself.
Neurodiversity. My clients often find that their neurodivergence often shows up in relationships, their personal tasks and errands, or their career. If you are self diagnosed or suspect you may be autistic and/or ADHD, we will explore ways to understand and manage how your brain works.
Complex trauma survivors. I work with survivors of assault, abuse, neglect, and partner violence. I use ACT (acceptance and commitment therapy) and a psychodynamic approach to processing and integrating trauma.
My clients tend to be:
Third-culture kids, children of immigrants.
Queer and/or trans folks.
Former fundamentalists.
Artist, musicians and creatives.
*These are who my clients tend to be, but of course, I welcome you even if you don’t see yourself on this list.
More about me
Most people don’t know how many beautiful twists and turns my journey to being a therapist has taken.
I won’t go into the details (wait for the biopic - it’s worth it). What I will tell you about are the results of that journey so far.
I know what it’s like to feel lost, find myself, come out of the closet, lose my family/friends and find my own way in the world, constantly feel like an outsider, and work daily to overcome my worst inner critics…
The tools this journey gave me shape the ways I work with my clients every goddamn day.
I know what it’s like to wake up, every day, hating yourself — your body, your needs, your habits, your coping mechanisms, your community. All of it.
And I know what it’s like to wake up one day and realize that years of hard work have paid off… how it feels to finally feel the gentle peace of self-love, self-awareness, and self-confidence.
In many ways, this is what my clients appreciate about working with me.
“I never knew how meaningful it would be to just spend an hour each week with another empathetic queer, who sees me, cares about me, and wants what’s best for me.”
“I feel like I have released years of burdens that other people handed me and expected me to carry for the sake of their own insecurities.”
“I never knew that therapy could be like this! Why doesn’t everyone do therapy??” (I can’t help but agree! I think we should all have access to good therapy!)
“It’s wonderful to realize how afraid of myself I’ve been… and to now feel such immense love for my beautiful, ‘queer af’ self.”
This is what I want you to know
It is possible to love yourself more deeply than you ever thought you could. You don’t have to let fear of others’ opinions hold you back from embracing your full authentic self.
You can feel prepared to meet life head-on, with all of its ups and downs. You can feel proud of yourself. You can do hard things.
The world will try to teach you that you are wrong. But you are perfectly enough and will only get better with time. You can be unapologetically yourself, with grace, strength, and humility.
You deserve to surround yourself with people who lift you up, celebrate your uniqueness, and encourage you to be your favorite version of yourself.
therapy with Me feels like…
It might feel like a warm, friendly, supportive nest. In that nest you and I will explore what it means to be your fullest self and we will work together to help you achieve your most personal, meaningful goals.
But, in the end, my job will be to help you leave that nest — to fly out into the world as your strong, beautiful self.
Sometimes the time spent with me might feel like we are solving a big puzzle together. You might bring in pieces you’ve collected over the week and we will admire them, examine them, and figure out how they fit together best — what feels right for you.
Some days, our sessions will be filled with laughter (one of the best medicines!) and joy, celebrating life’s absurdities, ironies, and the uniqueness of your lived-experience. I love to laugh and find humor a useful tool for processing this wild world we live in!
Other days, our time together will be soaked in fresh tears (maybe both of ours), as we hold the precious, sometimes broken, delicate pieces of your soul that others may have damaged, discarded, or ridiculed. We will find ways to restore your love and faith in these broken bits, learning to trust your self and your instincts once again.
No matter what, showing up in the room will be important time spent, just for you, and for you only. A space for growth. A space for healing. A space for reconnection with your deepest knowing. I will be there as a friendly helper. But you will do the work.
Both the journey and the credit for your successes, will all be yours.
Who are my people?
The short answer - I can help you with the following:
Queer relationships, partners + polycules
Neurodiversity
Early childhood traumatic experiences
Finding peace in or out of the church
Exploring your artistic and creative process
Here’s the longer answer to “who are my people.”
Sojourners and adventurers. We are a curious bunch! There are so many things to discover in this wild world, both externally and internally, and I am drawn to folks who wake up every day ready for the next leg of exploration. I am drawn to queer people. And I mean “queer” the way that bell hooks explained it: “…queer as being about the self that is at odds with everything around it and has to invent and create and find a place to speak and to thrive and to live.”
I love to find the people bucking the norms, defying stereotypes, and looking for new, mysterious ways to inhabit this earth. Folks who are always looking for new meaning, inspiration, connection, and embodiment. Those are my people. People less concerned with “fitting in,” and are more concerned with looking outward. What is the next step forward? And how can I greet it with love, grace, and strength?
I love working with couples, relationships and partners. I have a special place in my heart for gender and sexuality exploration in couples work. I respect all relationship structures and won’t try to pathologize love.
I come from a religious background and appreciate the nuanced ways that faith can intersect (or not) with other parts of our lives. I welcome clients exploring their relationship to religion, whether they are moving toward or away from it.
Basically if you have a long story and you’re not sure if a therapist will understand you - try me.
Bonus Section: Eight Fun Facts About Me!
I am what’s known as a “Third Culture Kid” (feel free to look it up! I can’t explain it all here haha)
I was a wild kid, and have broken 15 different bones in my body. Not so proud of that fact…
I was a professionally trained soprano before I decided to medically transition (Now I am a very happy baritone. Though I do miss hitting high notes sometimes!)
I was a professional juggler and I still enjoy tossing around balls, clubs, knives, and fire batons!
I am neurodivergent :)
I have a small hat collection that I am very proud of
I always prefer to be barefoot. (Always.)
I enjoy online gaming community and love indie horror games.
The Details:
J. Andrew Kravig, Registered Associate Marriage and Family Therapist, AMFT#131820, under clinical supervision of Jennifer Rodriguez Walker, LMFT #88540
BA (dual) in Music and French Studies
MA (dual) in Cultural Studies (emphasis in Film & New Media) and Religion in American Politics
MA in Clinical Psychology (LGBTQ-Affirmative)
I have two perfect cats! Felix and Luna
My hobbies include: cooking, for myself and for others (I love throwing dinner parties!)
A non-exhaustive list of other things I enjoy: coffee & good conversation; outdoor adventures; gardening; watching good film, or trashy TV; team sports; swimming; traveling; meditation; reading (fiction and non-fiction); poetry; singing (I used to be a choral conductor, and love any chance to sing in a choir!); painting, woodworking, stained glass, pottery; playing with my kittuns! Going out in a fabulous outfit!