How Can a Couples Therapist Help Me Navigate the Decision of Divorce?

How Can a Couples Therapist Help Me Navigate the Decision of Divorce?

Deciding whether or not to pursue a divorce is a deeply personal and often difficult decision. You may get conflicting messages from friends, family and even yourself. And most of those people don’t have to live with your decision.

Plus, you and your spouse may also be processing the grief of losing the marriage you thought you had, possible anxiety and depression from living in an unhappy relationship for an extended period of time, and even possibly some relational trauma from ongoing conflicts that have taken their toll.

So when people have opinions about your marriage, it can be especially stressful.

It’s understandable that you may vacillate between feeling like couples therapy is something you must do, and wanting to avoid looking too closely at this painful topic.

Fortunately, couples therapists are equipped with the skills and expertise to guide you through this challenging process. A couples therapist can assist you in making an informed decision about divorce. By working collaboratively with a therapist, you can gain clarity, explore your options, and ultimately find the path that is right for you and your relationship.

And when you choose a private practice therapist, it’s all done privately. No sharing your data with large companies and no sending records to insurance. I’m just saying.

Birth Order and Sibling Mental Health: Insights from a Marriage and Family Therapist

Birth Order and Sibling Mental Health: Insights from a Marriage and Family Therapist

Every time I take an informal poll on my social media, I get the same response. Middle kids have it worst. Youngest kids have it worst. Eldest kids have it worst.

Once in a while, someone will acknowledge that a different sibling has it hardest in the family. It’s usually the middle child making the concession.

Birth order has a great potential impacton our well-being and relationships not only within the family - but these same dynamics can play out in any group or organization we’re a part of. Those organizations are also a great opportunity to rewrite some of the narratives that have followed us from childhood.

Does ADHD Qualify as Neurodivergent?

Does ADHD Qualify as Neurodivergent?

Neurodivergent refers to individuals whose neurological development and functioning are atypical, differing from what society considers as "typical.”

It’s important to note that while the word “normal” is a misnomer, what it literally means is that society is “normed” on this one experience. So the neurotypical experience and way of thinking and operating is considered the mainstream, and anyone who differs (which is a lot, if not most of us) is rarely considered.

ADHD falls under this category as it involves a variety of differences in attention, impulse control, and hyperactivity. It's important to remember that neurodivergent conditions like ADHD come with a unique set of strengths and challenges, and embracing neurodiversity promotes inclusivity and understanding.

What Makes Private Practice “Private?” What to Consider When Looking for a Therapist

What Makes Private Practice “Private?” What to Consider When Looking for a Therapist

I think therapists forget how hard it is for the average person to find and select a therapist.

We spend a lot of our time with colleagues. We have a strong network of therapists we refer to and trust. Many of us even have our own therapist with whom we are in regular contact.

The average person, however, doesn’t know where to start, what to ask, or even where to look. That is, if therapists even return their calls.

(Side note: At Prospect Therapy we make every effort to get back to you within 3 business days at the most, often sooner. Weekends don’t count.)

In many respects, private therapy practices are the Rolls Royce of mental health care.

I don’t mean slow moving and reserved for old money. Although it can be that.

What I mean is, somewhere along the way, having a private, dedicated therapist available to you became a luxury.

With insurance rates getting higher and coverage getting lower, with big tech companies leaking protected health information and client data, and with mental health apps trying to use chat features and guided meditations to replace a therapeutic relationship, private practice can seem like a clunky, expensive option.

And with all the choices available now, it may not be the option for you.

By understanding the advantages of private practice, individuals can make informed decisions to support their mental health journey. Let's delve into the valuable reasons why private practice psychotherapy services provide a secure and confidential environment for your personal growth.

The Worst of Both Worlds: Nurturing the Mental Well-being of Eldest Daughters in Immigrant Families

The Worst of Both Worlds: Nurturing the Mental Well-being of Eldest Daughters in Immigrant Families

Eldest daughters often play a crucial role as cultural bridges and caretakers within their families, which can lead to unique challenges and pressures that impact their mental well-being.

The specific mental health concerns experienced by eldest daughters in immigrant families is often treated as the punchline of a familiar joke. And yes, it can be funny. (If we didn’t laugh, we might cry.)

But I also want to discuss how tailored therapy can provide my fellow eldest daughters with essential support and tools to navigate these challenges. After ten years of providing therapy, as well as being in my own therapy as an eldest daughter, these are some of the common experiences I’ve witnessed.

Navigating Couples Therapy for Queer People of Color: Key Considerations to Foster Transformation and Healing

Navigating Couples Therapy for Queer People of Color: Key Considerations to Foster Transformation and Healing

Couples therapy can be a transformative tool for strengthening relationships and fostering personal growth.

Truly transformative couples therapy can heal your inner child, and resolve decades old trauma. It can heal trauma that even existed prior to your relationship.

However, it is important to recognize that the experiences of queer people of color (QPOC) within couples therapy may differ due to intersecting identities and unique challenges. As queer affirming couples therapists, I want us to explore three specific considerations that can help ensure a truly welcoming and affirming couples therapy experience for QPOC individuals and their partners. (No “safe space” stickers here!)

Harnessing the Power of the Vagus Nerve: 7 Effective Ways to Support Your Mental Health

Harnessing the Power of the Vagus Nerve: 7 Effective Ways to Support Your Mental Health

In my quest to manage my mental health after an extremely stressful few years (who’s with me?) I’ve noticed everyone keeps talking about the vagus nerve. As the longest cranial nerve in the body, it forms a vital connection between the brain and various organs, including the heart, lungs, and digestive system.

It’s one of those things I learned about in grad school, as well as at several therapist trainings over the years. But like most things, I didn’t start paying close attention until it affected me. Here’s what I’ve learned, I hope it helps you too.

REST AND DIGEST: The Opposite of Fight or Flight

By stimulating the vagus nerve, we can enhance our vagal tone, which is crucial for supporting our mental health.

Increasing your vagal tone activates the parasympathetic nervous system, and having higher vagal tone means that your body can relax faster after stress.

If you think of stress management in terms of cultivating the opposite of fight or flight, you’ll understand why things that promote our body to rest and digest will help you not only reduce stress, but bounce back from stressful situations more easily.

How Does the Vagus Nerve Help Anxiety?

I’m glad you asked! Here are seven ways to improve your mental health by activating your vagus nerve.

Risks and Benefits of Couples Therapy

Risks and Benefits of Couples Therapy

Couples therapy is a type of counseling that aims to help couples improve their relationship. This type of therapy can be beneficial in a number of ways. First and foremost, couples therapy provides a safe and supportive environment for couples to discuss their issues. This can be especially helpful for couples who struggle with communication. By working with a therapist, couples can learn to communicate more effectively and express their thoughts and feelings in a constructive way.

The Benefits of Trauma Therapy on Couples

The Benefits of Trauma Therapy on Couples

As a Gottman method couples therapist, I have seen firsthand the impact that trauma can have on a relationship. Trauma, whether it be from childhood experiences or more recent events, can leave lasting scars that can affect how we relate to our partners and ourselves. However, I have also witnessed the incredible benefits that trauma therapy can have on relationships. In this blog post, I will explore the ways in which trauma therapy can help couples heal and grow together.

Career Complacency: What To Do When you Don't Know What To Do With Your Life

Career Complacency: What To Do When you Don't Know What To Do With Your Life

Do you ever get jealous of those people who have it all figured out?

Like they knew from a very young age that they wanted to be a veterinarian or a teacher and they just pursued it and ended up with a job they love?

Meanwhile, you might feel a little lost and not sure what your passion is. And work is fine, but you wish you cared more about it.

Is it normal to have no idea what you want to do with your life?

Um, yes, it is.

But actually you probably have some idea. It probably just got clouded by all the pressures you’re facing, some bad past experiences with jobs, and maybe an outdated image of what you thought you wanted but never re-evaluated.

How to Deal With Extreme Family Dependency

How to Deal With Extreme Family Dependency

You can’t choose your family. It’s fair even to say that you can’t choose what qualities and characteristics you inherit from your family. Things like mental health disorders and codependency patterns can be passed along from generation to generation without skipping a beat. Extreme family dependency entails thinking, behaviors, and feelings. On the outside, it can appear to be a close family relationship, but at its core, the very opposite is true…it’s a toxic pattern that leads to other issues.

Have hope, though. There are ways to overcome it and change dynamics to something more positive. It isn’t easy, but it is possible. Here are a few starting points. 

Spotting Codependency in Friendships

Spotting Codependency in Friendships

Next to family, and sometimes in place of family relationships, friendships can be the most important relationships in your life—the foundation for the good and the bad, the ups and the downs.

Independence and mutual respect are necessary for a friendship or any relationship. Many people are aware of codependent romantic relationships, but it is also possible with friendships. When boundaries become non-existent, and friends begin to blend into one another, it can be the telltale of a codependent friendship.

5 Signs You Sold Your Soul to Your Job… & How to Get it Back

5 Signs You Sold Your Soul to Your Job… & How to Get it Back

Jobs typically give you set hours. Once your shift ends, so should the work you do. However, some assignments can feel inescapable when you answer emails or are called in on your days off. Before you know it, your life before you got this job could disappear.

You would not be the first person who has felt they sold their soul for their job. You may be someone who has to work a dissatisfying job to support yourself or your family. Maybe you want to devote yourself to a job you love. The problem is that it can feel like you are never off work. Before you know it, you dedicate your time and energy solely to your job instead of your own needs.

When Gender Socialization Collides with Gender Identity

When Gender Socialization Collides with Gender Identity

There is a lot of weight placed on gender that is so subtly done it’s not always on the radar as problematic. In our social media era, you’ve likely seen or heard about someone’s gender reveal party. Is it a boy? Or is it a girl? The problem lies in how skewed this viewpoint truly can be. It can unknowingly create discomfort and cause underlying issues in a person’s future.

Addressing the Mental Health Stigma for Professionals

Addressing the Mental Health Stigma for Professionals

The year is 2022. Society is becoming more focused on the importance of mental health, but much work still needs to be done. This stigma surrounding mental illness remains present and may even carry more weight for healthcare professionals themselves.

According to the World Health Organization, as many as two-thirds of people who experience mental health difficulties do not seek the appropriate treatment. This number is probably higher for professionals due in part to the fact that stigmas still exist and can cause people to feel ashamed.

Given that anyone struggling with mental health issues is already carrying a daily burden having to grapple with stigmas is additional, unnecessary pain.

In order for anyone, including professionals, to be able to assist others, something needs to be done to address this problem.

What is Betrayal Trauma?

What is Betrayal Trauma?

Your clique. The squad. Your ride or die. Your person. The inner circle of your life. Whether this group consists of family, friends, or some combination of the two, everyone has somebody that they trust closely. When someone within your circle breaks your trust or acts out in a way that hurts you, it can result in betrayal trauma. The level of this trauma depends on how significant the circumstances are. It is also influenced by how necessary a role a person plays in your life.