There is a lot of weight placed on gender that is so subtly done it’s not always on the radar as problematic. In our social media era, you’ve likely seen or heard about someone’s gender reveal party. Is it a boy? Or is it a girl? The problem lies in how skewed this viewpoint truly can be. It can unknowingly create discomfort and cause underlying issues in a person’s future.
Gender Socialization…What Is It?
The idea of gender socialization begins before a child is even born. Once parents learn the sex of their child, a whole ideal is built around that piece of information. Themes for the baby room are selected. Colors geared towards either boy or girl are often chosen. Toys targeted towards one or the other are purchased. Once the child reaches a toddler level, many forces guide their life in an often stereotyped direction.
Sex Vs. Gender
These two terms are often interchangeably used in conversation; however, with gender socialization, there is an important difference. Sex refers to a child’s anatomy at birth. It is based on biological and physiological concepts. Generally speaking, it’s either male or female. Gender, on the other hand, refers to a more social construct. Different cultures interpret this differently. There is a spectrum of masculinity and femininity, and gender fall somewhere within that continuum.
The Spectrum Of Gender Identity
There are multiple gender identities, not solely male and female. In addition, there are also:
Intersex – an individual is born with a variation of their reproductive anatomy, making it difficult to fit in the typical male or female category.
Trans – an individual who is born with one sex’s anatomy but identifies otherwise.
Agender – an individual who does not identify with either gender.
Fluid identity – an individual who is constantly evolving along the gender spectrum.
See how it becomes more complicated than boy or girl?
four major agents Influencing Gender Socialization
Children are exposed to many different agents that can impact how their gender socialization develops.
Parents are a child’s first interactions. They are the main drivers in forming what their child knows about their own gender. Even parents who practice gender neutral behavior will likely emphasize one over the other at some point, unbeknown to them.
Teachers are another important point person in development. They often model gender roles within the classroom and carry their own stereotypes. Think back to school days when boys lined up in one line and girls in another. Another example may be activities completed during gym class.
Peers, whether at school or outside the establishment, play a role in gender socialization as well. Girls gravitate towards other girls and boys to boys during the elementary/middle school years. Girl gangs and guy groups tend to stay intact as children grow into adulthood.
Media (television, movies, and books) educate children on gender roles. Often these various forms have stereotyped characters or information. Certain ideas can be reinforced through pop culture, even if not the most accurate.
When The Two Collide
By the age of six months, children can differentiate male voices from female voices. By nine months, children can visually tell males from females. At three years old, a child has formed their own gender identity. Children will subconsciously connect with same-gender individuals to model behavior. As they grow, they can understand whatever cultural norms they follow.
Since gender socialization continues throughout the lifespan, what we learn early on can affect us for years to come. If what a child is taught does not fully resonate with what they are feeling internally, it could cause confusion and feelings of insecurity, detachment, and isolation.
It is hard to feel like you belong when you have a gender identity that does not match with what social norms are commanding. We have come a long way, but still have much work to do in being more inclusive.
Contact us if this is something you are struggling with.
Read more about Trans and Nonbinary Affirming Therapy here.