Grief is the feeling and intensity of a moment or specific situation. Grief is a tricky and overwhelming part of the human experience. Everyone goes through it, but no one experiences it the same way. You often know why it appears, but not always how or when it will come.
Grief and Culture
Grief is often associated with personal loss. That part is the universal component. The ways in which you grieve, however, are extremely person specific. Certain rituals or traditions can guide the process or prepare their loved ones to bring ease. Different cultural beliefs and values can largely impact how a group responds to any experience.
Cultural values and beliefs can help with:
How loss is handled.
Who is involved in the process.
Whether grief is expressed publicly or privately.
How long you are supposed to grieve.
How to move forward.
Spiritual influences in the process.
While not a comprehensive list, they aim to provide a roadmap that structures the grief experience.
Grief and Coping Techniques
Over time, individuals adopt their cultural beliefs and then adapt them to meet their own personal needs. This can be especially true if you share multiple cultural backgrounds. What feels right for one person may feel entirely uncomfortable for you.
Coping techniques exist to reduce the negative emotions and feelings you have with grief and allow you to forge a path through. Your path may differ greatly from your significant other, children, parents, or friends. There is no clear-cut right or wrong, but it is important to grieve in a way that feels right to you.
Grief and Learning
If grief is the emotion and feeling from a specific experience, then grieving is the collective of those instances. It is the way we have learned about our grief and changed it over a period of time. After any type of loss, your brain needs to learn its new perspective and reality. Depending on how deeply that loss affected you, you may need an entirely different road map for healing than anyone else in a similar situation.
Grief and Time
Just as no two people are the same, no two brains operate the same. How long it takes your brain to acknowledge, adjust, and acclimate to the new normal post-loss has no set timeline. You can’t force yourself to move through something faster than the brain can process it.
Caring for your grief has no rulebook and is not mandated. There is a common misconception that grief will only be around for a short while, and then life can return to its regular programming. No one is told that it may be something you carry around and have to actively work on due to its integration in multiple parts of life. How quickly or slowly you choose to process all the emotions to heal cannot be worked out in any math equation. Time will literally tell with this.
Grief Considerations
On the road forward, however you choose to travel it, be proud of every step you take. Grief can be one large looking glass inward and teach you more than just the negative aspects. Sit with it, take your time, and listen to your mind and body. With grief comes growth, regardless of whether or not we asked for it.
Your grief is still valid if it looks different than your family and friends, if you made a mistake in the process, if you don’t feel what you are told to feel, or if you don’t know how to feel or where to start. Grief is a personal journey, but it doesn’t have to be lonely.
Comfort can also come from just being around others who care about you. The key is not to isolate yourself.
Lean on your trusted individuals and never be afraid to seek professional support if your grief feels like too much to bear.
Read more about Therapy for Depression here.