Even if you have the resources of time, money, and energy.
And you know what questions to ask.
And your social anxiety/depression/phone dysphoria/stress/overwhelm isn’t getting in the way — it can be really hard to find a therapist.
According to a 2018 study by Mental Health America, California ranks 24th in the nation in terms of prevalence of mental health issues and correlated access to care.
There are several reasons why you may want to find a therapist. If you suffer from depression, anxiety, or any other mental illness, therapy is a great way to cope and obtain advice for your day-to-day life.
Or, if you’re going through a particularly rough period in your life—loss of a loved one, fired from a job, or having relationship problems—then therapy is also a great way to help get you through it.
Let's say you've tried everything else. You've vented to friends and family. You've tried making changes in your habits. You've read every book, or at least every online article about your issue. And you've decided it's time for more individualized, professional help.
You may be completely willing to give therapy a try, but there’s one pressing question: how do you find a therapist?
With so many options, it almost seems too daunting to even try to find one. Fortunately, if you can focus on one task at a time, you can find a the right therapist for you and get the help you need.
Search Online and Seek Out Referrals
We are fortunate to live in a time when vast amounts of information are readily available with a simple online search. Start by using a search engine, such as Google. Type in, “therapists near me,” and see what comes up. If you really want some good results, add more descriptive terms and your city name. Try "anxiety therapy Long Beach" or "depression counseling near me." Get as specific as you like - you'll be surprised at what comes up.
Also, if you have any friends or family members who have expressed how much therapy has helped them, ask for a referral to their therapist.
Side note: You may not always want the same therapist as your loved one. Sometimes therapists won't even agree to see two people in the same family. This is to help protect your confidentiality.
But, maybe that therapist can recommend someone for you. Speaking to someone in the field is often the best way to get a good recommendation. We make referrals to trusted colleagues all the time.
Utilize Free Consultations
Many of us offer a free phone consultation as a way to ensure that we are a good fit for one another. Take advantage of this consultation! If you’re going to be spending hours talking to someone, you at least want to feel comfortable on the phone.
Be prepared to answer specific questions, such as:
Why are you seeking therapy now?
What results are you hoping to achieve?
What has worked for you in the past?
A thoughtful therapist will be asking you questions about what you’re looking for. They don’t just say “when can you come in and this is how much it costs.” We want to make sure we’re the right person to help you.
Also, have a few questions of your own in mind.
Ask the therapist who their main demographic is (age group, specialties, gender, etc.) and what their style of therapy is. What you're really listening for is: Does this person understand my problem? Will I feel comfortable with them? Have they helped others in my situation?
It's less about the letters after their name. (Although these letters are important, and a good way to screen that this mental health professional has engaged in standard training, ethics, and experience.) From there, you can determine if this therapist will be a good fit for your needs.
Discuss Logistics
You may really like this person. Don’t forget to ask about logistics. These are just as important - because deciding on a therapist only to find out their office is over an hour away is a sucky feeling!
Is there a time to meet that works for both of your schedules?
Is there the possibility of doing a video session?
Can you afford to see them on a weekly basis, at least to start, without going broke?
Are they local to your area?
These questions are vital; if therapy doesn’t work for your schedule, then you won’t feel inclined to go through with your sessions. If you can only afford to go once a month, it will be much more difficult to make progress. Make sure that you will be able to commit to therapy fully, and that your therapist is flexible enough to commit to your needs, as well. There is a lot to be said about financial costs associated with mental health care. Read more about what your therapist's fee says about them here.
If any of the above factors doesn't sit well with you, don't sell yourself short by simply hanging up.
A good therapist will be able to help connect you with someone who would be a better fit for you. Many of us stay networked with colleagues who take certain insurances, have varying schedules, and focus on different specialties. Share your concerns and ask if they can recommend someone. We are not offended by this request! Most of us would rather send you in the right direction than just try to make something work. There is always someone who is willing, ready, and able to work with you.
Meeting for the First Time
You may feel nervous when you meet your therapist for the first time. You may feel uncomfortable discussing specific topics with your therapist—and you shouldn’t feel obligated to discuss anything you aren’t comfortable with. However, you’ll likely find that it’s essential to be honest with your therapist.
We aren’t there to judge you. As therapists, we only wants to hear you out and give you genuine feedback to help with whatever is affecting your life. If you aren’t comfortable with your therapist, this may be a sign that you need to keep searching for someone with whom you feel more comfortable.
It will be weird in the beginning. When you think about it, therapy is a weird thing to do. But the way you relate to your therapist is a good indicator of how you relate to others. Do you avoid discomfort? Try to people-please at your own expense? Become critical and then ghost people?
In the beginning you will have to stretch a little out of your comfort zone, but it should quickly start to feel more safe. If it doesn't, believe me, your therapist wants to hear about it. Either we can adjust our approach, or help you figure out the source of your response, or both. It's a win-win!
Be Honest
It’s not easy to open up and be vulnerable to a stranger. Over time, ideally, your therapist will become much more than a mere stranger to you. They’ll become an ally—a person whom you feel genuinely comfortable being candid around.
To find a good relationship with your therapist, it begins with honesty. At first, it won’t be comfortable. The issues you’re bringing to your therapist are likely very intimate. However, if you want to see substantial growth, you have to be honest.
You don’t have to bear all from the get-go. Take things at your own pace, of course. Just keep in mind that merely showing up to a therapy session is only the beginning. If you put in the effort toward confronting your issues, you will feel immensely empowered. Therapy doesn't solve your problems for you; it helps you learn to solve them yourself.
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Whether you've had zero experience with therapy, or you've had plenty of therapists in your life, we can help you find someone today. Prospect Therapy is an LGBTQ+ affirming therapy practice in Long Beach, CA. We welcome individuals and couples of all genders and sexualities. Call us at (562) 704-4736 or click below to request a free, confidential consultation.