Afghanistan is one of the oldest and historically richest countries in the world. No place with this much history and diversity is immune to violence. Its people in fact take pride in the spirit of rebellion and power.
In modern history, however, Afghanistan has seen decades of violence and war from imperialist forces outside of it’s cultural, ethnic, and political boundaries. This is different from internal conflict or political strife. This is exploitation.
Today, we live among entire generations of Afghans who had no choice but to be born into a life of conflict. In your family, you may have witnessed or heard stories of violence, lost loved ones, lasting war injuries, family separation, and more — all of which are traumatic events that can lead to lasting mental health implications. The resulting issues such as PTSD, substance use disorders, depression, anxiety, OCD, and others, can be traced back to the pain of forced displacement.
Being an immigrant or first-generation American dealing with generational trauma shapes the way you think. It can lead to constant feelings of anxiety, hopelessness, and isolation. While we cannot control how much pain and destruction our culture faces today, we can control the way we feel about it. We can choose to heal so that we are better equipped to make the change we long to see.
Don’t deny it any longer: you need mental health support.
People in the Afghan diaspora face heavy emotions about Afghans still living in the country. You may feel helpless about what to do or face survivor’s guilt because you or your family were able to seek refuge and settle elsewhere.
You may wake up every day, look around at your life, and instead of feeling relief that you’re safe, you feel guilty for not doing more with that privilege.
It’s natural to want to cover up these anxieties through ambition and achievement. You may even feel pressure to do so by your parents because of gendered expectations to support them with professional expertise, managing their personal accounts, or throwing your own money at their problems.
Outworking your anxiety will not ease your anxiety—all it does is let it simmer. Years from now, all that pent-up fear can manifest as panic attacks, heart problems, and other bodily aches and pains. This is the face of high-functioning anxiety. This is why we offer therapeutic services to people like you. People like us.
Coping by relying solely on family who are also facing unresolved trauma can lead you down the wrong path.
Keep an open mind on your journey towards healing. Yes, as the world is full of opportunistic people who choose power over peace. However, this doesn’t mean every person outside the diaspora is an opportunistic, closed-minded person.
Allow yourself the luxury of trust again. Choose connection over comparison. Choose connection over caution. Choose. Connection.
Give yourself permission to lean on friends from different cultures who also understand the pain of displacement. Afghan American, Vietnamese American, and many Central American cultures have faced similar situations in recent years. You may be facing strained relationships within your own community due to judgment, gossip, or comparison. Take a break from it by leaning on supportive friends who have no cultural expectations of you.
This also relieves your family members of having the sole caretaking responsibility over your mental health, when they are also experiencing similar pain. Sometimes it feels like only they can understand. But if they do not have enough distance from their own pain, it can be harmful for both of you to try to work through it together.
It’s time to take action.
You may feel grief for not having a strong connection with your heritage, or regret for being resistant to your culture growing up. While we can’t change the past, we can move on by empowering ourselves through cultural education.
Don’t rely on your educational institution alone to teach you what you need to know. These issues don’t have a big enough spotlight in the U.S. Go out of your way to learn about your history and culture so you can make your own relationship with them.
Celebrate the things that feel like home. Cook food, listen to music, wear clothes, and watch films that showcase the beautiful parts of your culture.
Take time off. You’re not a failure because you need a break to process. Quit the doom scrolling, and some days, let life go on without your participation. Your community will be there when you return.
And if you need someone else to find the light at the end of the tunnel with you, come join one of our peer support groups for Afghan Diaspora women or Children of Immigrants. Sharing with others who feel like family, but aren’t actual family, can be a beautiful way to find solidarity, understanding, and growth.
No one deserves to have their home or their sanity stolen, so let’s reclaim yours. Together.
Therapy for Children of Immigrants in Long Beach
Prospect Therapy is a queer + trans affirming therapy practice based in Long Beach, CA, with a focus on mental health for first-generation, immigrant, and bicultural communities. We continue to provide online therapy for a variety of mental wellness and relationship concerns to clients throughout the state of California. Learn more about how we bring lived experience to our work with people of all ages in our communities by requesting a consultation below.