When things go wrong in our lives, it’s a natural response to try to fix it. Humans have thrived through our problem-solving skills, and they come in handy every day. Sometimes, however, things happen that are out of our control. They’re out of our hands to solve and it feels helpless. Or, sometimes, more damage is done by trying to maintain control in an out-of-control situation. In situations like these, the best thing to do in the moment is to take a step back and try to find peace in other ways.
What to do when you feel overwhelmed
The truth is that you cannot control everything that happens in your life. It can even be argued that you should not have to control every aspect of your life. Still, this does not take away how uncomfortable and even dreadful these moments can feel. A sudden lack of control is jarring, frustrating and stressful for many people. Some people may feel anxious or even panic when they can’t do anything about a situation immediately.
Mindfulness helps you find a way to be present alongside the chaos. To not be swept up by the situation at hand. And for those of you who are wrinkling their nose at the idea of releasing control, mindfulness can be a stepping stone toward figuring out the next right step.
What is Mindfulness?
Mindfulness comes from South Asian spiritual practices. The practice of mindfulness calls for you to shift your focus from your thoughts to the present moment. When we’re in distress, our focus can be on thoughts about what has happened in the past or all the ways disaster can happen in the future. Mindfulness helps bring your focus back to the here and now. It incorporates calming strategies to help you focus on the present. There are many ways that you can practice mindfulness, and nearly every technique can be done anywhere and at any time. Even as you read this.
Deep breathing for anxiety attacks
Deep breathing is one of the best ways to cope with sudden moments of anxiety. We breathe all day, every day — but we don’t necessarily think about it. By being mindful of your breathing, you will feel calmer. When you have anxious or panicked thoughts, it may feel difficult to breathe. You might even find that you hold your breath. The next time you find your thoughts racing about a problem — notice that your thoughts are racing, take a deep breath in through your nose, then exhale through your mouth. Exhale longer than you’d normally do so. Note how you feel immediately after. By taking a step back, redirecting your focus to your breathing, you can feel more at ease.
Pay attention to your surroundings
It may seem obvious to pay attention to the things around you. However, when you force yourself to focus all your attention on where you are, you’ll likely notice things you previously hadn’t. In a moment of stress, anxiety, or panic, try to shift your focus. Your thoughts may be running on and on non-stop. That’s okay. Notice that your thoughts are running, then take a breath. Start to look around you. Look behind you. Is there something new you didn’t notice before?
You can do this by stimulating your senses. Look at, listen to, touch, and smell the things around you. Your focus doesn’t have to be on anything exciting. By shifting your focus to the objects around you, you can successfully ground yourself enough to momentarily stop the anxious thought cycle. These moments can add up.
Do one thing at a time: Mono-tasking for anxiety
When there’s a big problem that needs solving, your head may spin with all of the moving parts. It seldom takes one simple step to solve a big problem, and it is overwhelming to try to tackle all of the solutions at once.
Mindfulness can help you transition from ruminating on disaster to focusing on how to get to the next step. When anxiety is heightened, our options seem limited which can lead to feeling immobilized. When you are able to ground yourself and lower that heightened anxious state, say through mindfulness, you’ll be able to see an array of other avenues to take. Interestingly enough, you may even feel like you gained back a little bit of control. Even if you may not be able to change a situation completely, you can change what you choose to do next. Even if that means taking a few moments to breathe.
Remember, you may not find a solution overnight, and that’s okay. As time goes by and you slowly work towards a solution, the problem will feel more manageable and less stressful.
It’s okay to want to solve every problem that arises. As the pandemic and other current events have proven, however, sometimes disasters are too big to be fully in our control. Instead of only stressing out over it, consider practicing mindfulness to help ground yourself. Sometimes solutions take time, and the sooner you make peace with letting go of control, the better off you’ll be.
When things go wrong in our lives, it’s a natural response to try to fix it. Humans have thrived through our problem-solving skills, and they come in handy every day. Sometimes, however, things happen that are out of our control.
Furthermore, sometimes there isn’t anything that we can do at the moment. This lack of control is frustrating and stressful for many people, especially those who crave it in moments of chaos. Some people may panic or feel anxious when they can’t do anything about a situation.
Unfortunately, you can’t control everything that happens in your life — and mindfulness can help get you through these moments.
A therapist can help guide you to find mindfulness practices that work for you. The same techniques won’t work for everyone. We have to take into account your personal experience and mental make-up to find what will actually help. By educating, coaching, and providing another perspective, a therapist can help you figure out what the best way to manage your anxiety will be.
Therapy for Anxiety in Long Beach and California
Prospect Therapy is a queer + trans affirming therapy practice based in Long Beach, CA, with a focus on mental health for first-generation, immigrant, and bicultural communities. We continue to provide online therapy for a variety of mental wellness and relationship concerns to clients throughout the state of California. Learn more about how we bring lived experience to our work with people of all ages in our communities by requesting a consultation below.