The holidays can be a great way to bring you and your partner closer by introducing them to your family. It can also be a really stressful time for a million other reasons, so we made this guide to help you make short work of the process.
Thanks to www.forhers.com for the infographic!
The easiest way to make the process less stressful – prepare ahead of time.
Prepare your family for your partner
Tell your family about your partner! What they’re like, what their pronouns are, what dietary restrictions they have, what they like to do for fun! Communicate your expectations for your family as well. For example, “My partner is really excited about their new job, you should ask them about that!” Or, “My partner doesn’t have a relationship with their family, so avoid asking them questions about where they grew up.” This helps set your family up for success when getting to know your partner!
Prepare your partner for your family
The same goes for talking to your partner about your family. Explain who from your family will be present, and note who you are closest to in your family so your partner can get to know them. Describe what it’s like to be around your family. For example, “My family can be pretty loud. We all talk a lot, and often we just talk over each other.” Or, “My family likes each other but isn’t really that close…so we mostly just talk about sports and the weather.” By giving this picture to your partner ahead of time they can better prepare for the environment and how to act. Make sure to let your partner know if your family is likely to ask specific questions, like about your partner’s job or education, so they won’t be caught off guard.
Have an exit plan
Even if it’s going well, this meeting can feel very overwhelming. Having plans later in the day (or even just a planned excuse to leave) is a great way to make sure things don’t go on too long. You can also let your family know ahead of time “We’ll be able to visit until 2pm, then we have other plans we need to get to.” Unfortunately, it might not go well. Create a code word or signal with your partner that means “I need to leave, right now.” Have a plan for how you’ll exit quickly if needed.
Regardless of how well prepared you and your significant other are, family meetings can be stressful and bring on performance anxiety. Be patient with yourself, your partner, and your family.
Maybe you and your partner are not there yet. Or maybe you’re way past the introductions. If you’re finding that you might need more emotional support around your relationships, and want to learn better ways of connecting with others, therapy may be a great place to start. Prospect Therapy welcomes individuals and couples of all genders and orientations in Long Beach, Seal Beach, and online! Call us at (562) 704-4736 or click below to request your free, confidential consultation.