If you have lived with depression for any amount of time, you know the frustrating and exhausting experience of acting like your usual self. Basic tasks take all your energy. You’re irritable, disinterested, and moody. But people seem to only want the “normal” version of you, so you keep this struggle to yourself.
Inside, you can hardly remember the last time you were that person.
Unfortunately, we can’t pause the outside world so we can calm our inner world. Solutions like therapy and medication can be successful, but they take time to work.
Instead of waiting around for your depression to disappear, buy yourself some time by practicing strategies that help you get through the day.
How Can I Tell if I’m Depressed?
So, like many things, depression exists on a spectrum. Everyone can feel depressed (which is more than just “sad,” from time to time. Where you are on this spectrum on a given day will mean that you need different things to help you cope.
Symptoms of Depression
Loss of interest in formerly beloved activities.
Trouble falling asleep and/or difficulty getting out of bed in the morning.
Signs of irritability like snapping at others or quickly getting frustrated with tasks.
Isolating yourself from loved ones or not responding to clear invitations.
Rarely feeling emotions that aren’t irritation or hopelessness.
Feeling disconnected from yourself.
Putting off self-care tasks and chores until they become unbearable.
Find Where You’re At on the Depression Scale
When I say “depression scale,” I mean a mood scale from 1-10. 1 meaning you’re feeling depressed and down for the count, and 10 meaning you’re energized and not feeling depressed at all.
1-3: Very Depressed
If you’re at this end of the scale, t’s hard to get out of bed. You may be lethargic, and can’t find motivation for basic tasks. As you can imagine, any advice that says “take a walk!” will be unwelcomed and quite useless.
Instead, be gentle with yourself. If you are able, take time to yourself and don’t schedule a social activity to try to force yourself out of it. If you can take a day off work, by all means, this counts as a sick day. Do a comforting activity that helps soothe your irritability, and don’t beat yourself up for feeling out of it. Trust that it will pass (it always does), and don’t add to it by wishing you didn’t have to feel this way.
On these days, you’ll need extra rest. Stick to the bare minimum, and don’t try to force yourself out of it. These are the toughest times, and simply drinking enough water and practicing basic hygiene is a win.
4-6: Kind of Depressed
Feeling tired, but optimistic? Today, treat your depression like a lock to which you need to find the key.
These are the days that your typical coping - things like leaving the house and getting some sun, cooking a meal, making a gratitude list, calling a friend to cheer you up (or vent with you) - have a better chance of snapping you out of it.
On these days, you might be able to shorten a depressive episode or lessen the intensity of it if you know a few of the things that work for you.
7-10: Not Depressed At All
The days that your depression is absent are the days you can hit it the hardest.
Use this time to reinforce your support system, thank friends who helped you through the last episode, and prepare for future periods of depression. Talk to a therapist or trusted loved one about how they can help you support yourself the next time it comes up. Learn what might trigger an episode. Start a habit that will keep it at bay. Basically set yourself up so that you have the resources to take it easy if you need to in the future.
Say P.L.E.A.S.E.
While no one can cure depression in a day, there are things you can do to make the days easier. Depending on what kind of day you’re having, aim to accomplish at least three of these self-check-ins every day.
“PL” is for Physical ILlness. Check in with yourself physically. As long as you’re not feeling sick, consider things you could do to avoid becoming sick.
Stress affects your immune system’s ability to fight off antigens, making you more vulnerable to infections. Opt to take it easy today, wash your sheets, or simply pop a vitamin C pill.
“E” is for Eating. Think about the food you’ve been eating lately. (I’m not asking you to change anything about your diet. Just think about it.)
Are you remembering to eat? How do you feel after eating certain foods? Do you feel weighed down and sluggish or bright and alert? Paying attention to your body can help you slowly change habits over time.
“A” is for Mood Altering Substances. Many people try to numb negative thoughts with alcohol or drugs. Remember that while they may cause relief in the moment, they will inevitably alter your mood. This can delay your ability to bounce back from depression.
“S” is for Sleep. Do you have a regular bedtime and morning alarm? When your body knows it will get the amount of sleep it needs, you’re more likely to feel safe and enjoy fewer spikes of anxiety.
“E” is for Exercise. Get moving today! It doesn’t have to be on a treadmill—it can be any kind of movement that gets your blood and endorphins flowing while you listen to an interesting podcast.
Depression is no joke, and it can take a toll on your relationships, self-image, and financial security. Working with a therapist who understands this can help you make sure you’re set up to live a life you can feel proud of, while including space to take it easy.
Therapy for Depression in Long Beach and California
Prospect Therapy is a queer + trans affirming therapy practice based in Long Beach, CA, with a focus on mental health for first-generation, immigrant, and bicultural communities. We continue to provide online therapy for a variety of mental wellness and relationship concerns to clients throughout the state of California. Learn more about how we bring lived experience to our work with people of all ages in our communities by requesting a consultation below.