Money can be really hard to talk about. It’s definitely not everyone’s favorite small talk at the office holiday party. So how do you approach the dollar sign conversation when it comes to the price of your therapist?
There is no set price for seeing a therapist. Prices can range anywhere from $5 to $500 a session and everywhere in between. But what does that number actually mean? Is it based on their experience? Or does more money mean faster results? Does expensive always mean better? Paying for therapy can be really confusing.
Let’s be clear: There are excellent therapists at every price.
Just like geographical location, age, identity, and theoretical approach: The best therapist is the one who is the right fit for you. That includes financial considerations too.
If you can’t afford groceries because of your therapy bills, you’re seeing the wrong therapist.
I don’t care how much you like them, how chunky their jewelry is, or how hip their eyeglass frames are. If therapy is taking away too much from other parts of your life, you’re going to hate the process.
Therapy should be a little bit uncomfortable for you as the client.
OK, no. Therapy should not take over your life. But it should be a little uncomfortable. That means emotionally, and yes, financially. Otherwise it’s just fancy talking. If there is an exchange of resources - time, money, energy - you’re more likely to be accountable to the process and value the work you’re doing.
This does NOT mean you have to choose between your mental health and paying your bills. There are enough excellent therapists for every personality type, schedule, and budget. Money is only part of the process of finding your therapist, but it is an important part.
The cost of a therapy session is a number that will mean different things to different people depending on their overall operating costs, how many clients they can (and should) comfortably see in a week, specialized training that they have, the communities they serve, and many more factors.
What really matters is if a therapist can explain why they charge what they charge.
We literally all have various reasons. Seriously, go ask any therapist why they charge X dollars an hour. You’ll hear a whole bunch of explanations. I’ve heard everything from “my time is valuable” to “that is the market rate,” which really means, “I just looked at what my neighbors charged was too nervous to go above or below that.”
You want someone who knows what they're charging you for and why. And just like all good relationships, you need someone who isn't afraid to talk about it. Money is one of the most emotionally charged topics. It’s so intense that it’s one of the main reasons relationships end!
If your therapist can't talk about money with you, what else can't they talk about?
That is not a good standard to set in a professional relationship that’s based on communication. If you feel nervous bringing money up with your therapist, you don’t want someone sitting across from you who’s just as nervous as you are!
Being clear and transparent about fees is actually a very therapeutic task for your therapist. It means that they not only have enough understanding of their business to know exactly what they need to charge (and don't go above or below that), but it means they feel confident about what they're offering you.
It shows that they are comfortable having uncomfortable conversations. That they stand by the value of work that they do. They are charging a specific price for a reason, not just seeing what they can get away with.
This confidence applies not only to their rates, but to their schedule, their expertise, and even whether they will take you on as a client. (Not gonna lie, some of us actually prefer working evenings if it means we get to sleep in.)
Of course, flexibility is helpful, and is also a sign of confidence. But a great therapist should be clear on what they are willing to negotiate, and what they are not.
Think about it: Setting boundaries is probably one reason you are seeking therapy in the first place, so you definitely want someone who knows how to do that themselves.
It’s not your job as the client to fret over your therapist overextending themself, if they can actually help with your specific issue, if they look forward to working with you as a client or are just doing it to pay their bills, or if they don't really want to offer that evening appointment.
These issues run far deeper than money. They are really issues around self-worth, boundaries, and the value of one’s work. Those feelings will follow you into therapy.
There could be a whole bunch of things you may want to work on in therapy: Being comfortable accepting help from others, trusting that they want to be around you, building healthy relationships with money, managing boundaries and expectations in your relationships, feeling deserving of love and acceptance.
You don’t need to be questioning those things when it comes to your therapist. Don’t simply repeat that dynamic in every area of your life. Therapy should be about you. You’re the one paying for it, after all.
Prospect Therapy is an LGBTQ+ affirming psychotherapy practice that welcomes individuals and couples of all genders and orientations in Long Beach, Seal Beach and surrounding areas of Los Angeles and Orange Counties. If you are interested in working through issues of self-worth and misplaced values, therapy may be a great place to start. Contact us for a free consultation and get matched to your best fit therapist today.